What if your emotional well being was not at the mercy of how much sunshine or darkness there is in a day?

What would that change in your life if the long nights happened without any adverse effects?

Hello nature lovers,

It seems the darkness came a lot faster and hit more intensely this year, doesn’t it!   I don’t think that i’m the only one who feels like this Dark Time of Year snuck up on us.

Last week I watched the sun set and it wasn’t yet 4:30pm!   

And…I’ve been hearing more from people that they’re feeling pretty low, lethargic, anxious or (moderately) depressed, over the last month or so.  Have you felt it?  Or seen it in your community?

So, I’ve created this page for 2 reasons… to offer some empathy and some help.

Reason #1 - healing with empathy : 

If you have struggled during this time of year, it makes complete sense. 

For one, we’re actually meant to hibernate! 

Secondly, Sunshine (Fire) is connected to Joy, Play and Connection in Elemental Models of various traditions around the globe. 

This, of course, can be seen and experienced on many layers…from the physical need for vitamin D, to the emotional needs for play and fun, to the deeper needs for connection.  

Afterall, Nature teaches us that resilience is a direct result of community connections (ie. diversity), so it makes a lot of sense that we might struggle when this Element is more scarce in our lives.

In many old fairy tales, people wondered if the Sun would return.  Today, we know the Sun will return and instead we wonder if we will get through until then.

Reason #2 - healing with action :

I have 3 suggestions that I’ve found to be helpful with my clients as well as myself, my family and friends.  One is herbal, two are about shifting perspective. 

And just before we get to those, I offer this frame for healing…

Carl Rogers is a hero of mine.  He helped to pioneer the recognition of the healing power of empathy and curiosity.   Because people don’t need fixing, they need to be heard.

My work with my clients, just like these tips, are deeply rooted in self empathy. 

Empathy is the key ingredient for the most powerful healing and transformation!

3 Tips at Dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) :

1. Take herbs that have a strong relationship with the Sun. 

I sell a tincture blend called “Bring Back the Sunshine” that is simply the 3 herbs that most embody the energy of the Sun…

1. Calendula

2. St. John’s Wort

3. Cottonwood buds

Yes, St. John’s Wort has “serotonin precursors” (meaning chemicals you digest in order to become the “feel good chemical”, serotonin), but that’s not really why I use it. 

And it’s not just Sun deficiency that it remedies, it also works for too much Sun. It’s my favourite remedy for sun burns, for example.

I suggest experimenting with 1 or more of these herbs.   As tea, tincture or even oil, whatever you can most easily get and use.

And if you have a different relationship with these plants or with others, play with the ones that have the most meaning for you.  (because healing with plants is not just about chemistry!)

And yes, I do have a limited quantity of Bring Back the Sunshine, so send me an email if you’d like to buy some.

2. Do a ceremony or ritual that changes your relationship with Fire (or Water).  

There’s a reason that so many winter holidays are based around Fire and Light.  From Michaelmas to Hanukah to Yule, these are all Festivals of Light in the Darkness. 

Personally, it was a ritual that I did that changed my relationship with Water that permanently shifted my relationship with the darker days of Winter. 

Here’s a quick explanation…

Water is the polar opposite of Fire. 

Water is the Winter while Fire is the Summer. 

You can’t separate them when you think about it as a yin and yang cycle.

Plus, I was living in Vancouver, BC where, instead of snow during the winter, it’s 4 months of overcast drizzle.  Everything is soggy and it’s always dark. 

I was miserable my first winter!  But only that first winter.  I started my second winter with a ritual honouring those parts I had so much resistance to accepting.  And, like magic, I had a new way to relate to the Water & the Fire.

3. Ask the part of you that is feeling the anxiety, lethargy, depression, etc…

“What is the positive intent you have for me?”

It can seem a bit strange to consider, I know.  This is deeper empathy than most folks are used to giving themselves.  (And it’ll totally pay off!)

Consider a different frame on your emotions… the feelings that come up for you are actually a strategy being presented by some part of you. 

This part of you is trying to help you out.  You may not immediately understand why they’ve chosen this strategy, so you can simply ask. 

Turn your attention inward, feel your body, notice your breathing and ask this part of you…

“What are you trying to do for me that’s positive?”

Then wait a moment.  You’ll get a response.  It may come as a physical feeling, a memory, a thought, or something else.  I don’t know what it’ll be for you.

Now, you have a dialogue going.  And from this connection, peacemaking is possible.

I suggest that you keep going with empathy so this part can increase its trust that you’re listening with care. 

Only after trust has been established, can you ask if it’s open/willing to hear how this strategy is landing for the other parts of you. 

Eventually, you can ask if it’s willing to try a different strategy.  And with trust and creativity, you’ll be able to agree to use strategies that work for all parts of you.

Clearly this last strategy has more depth and nuance.  I regularly facilitate this process for clients, friends and myself (myselves?).  Often, with profound and immediate changes.

This brought a huge transformation to a recent client...

I did this process with a client recently.  We’re helping her reset the default mode of her nervous system to calm, safe and connected.  

This is a form of Inner Peace-Making that invites all parts of you to work toward your goals (instead of the inner 'tug-o-war' that keeps you spinning your wheels.

Try it out.  Play with it.  Explore.  Most people tell me they benefit from this practice more and more.

And if you'd like some help, if you'd like someone to guide you through this process, then book a session with me.

strength & wisdom.
garliq